Invitational Dressing

Everyone knows that women who look sexy attract the attention of men. The problem is that most women misconstrue what men think sexy looks like. Looking sexy doesn’t mean looking slutty, with bare belly, fire-engine red lips, royal blue eyeshadow and enough mascara to paint a barn. When you dress like that, men don’t think “sexy”, they think “trashy.”

But women seem to think that elegance and vampishness are sexually stimulating to men. And they are, in men’s fantasies. But usually not in the real world. However, women have been raised to feel sexiest in fine fabrics, well-made gowns, and anything that they think conceals their bad features.

Actually, most men prefer a care-free natural look when it comes to what you wear and how you do your make-up. And they’re attracted more by lighter perfumes than by the heavy, musky stuff. They love women who aren’t afraid to be themselves, just they way they are. Men prize honestly, see, and they don’t really go for falseness.

Try this: go to the newsstand or bookstore and pick up a men’s magazine like Playboy or Penthouse. Take a good look at the nude women in those magazines. How much make-up are they wearing? Just enough to bring out their natural beauty. Now take a look at their hair. It’s almost always kind of tousled, as if they’d just had a roll in the hay.

You know those big magazines could certainly afford make-up jobs and better hairstyles for their top models. But the point is, that’s not what men want. Men go for the natural look. Of course, the models’ hair IS clean, and they look well-scrubbed. Clean is a must.

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Here’s a quote from a real man from Springfield, Massachusetts: “I like a girl who looks like she’s just come back from a long morning ride. Hair blown wild, rosy cheeks, tight, tight jeans, and a plain old plaid shirt.”

And in case you don’t already know it, one of the sexiest things you can wear is a men’s button-down oxford shirt–they love that! As far as hair is concerned, men think long, tousled hair is the sexiest, followed by extremely short hair. Their LEAST favorite style is combed back and braided, probably because it makes a woman look like an old-fashioned school teacher and prudish.

The key is to dress in such a way that you issue an invitation. By “invitation”, I mean a sort of very subtle come-on to the man you’re interested in that you might like to have sex with him. How do you do that? By giving a man small but obvious clues that he attracts you and that you’d like him to take you up on your invitation.

– Tousled hair
– Buttoned blouse or oversized men’s shirt that unbuttoned just one button lower than usual
– Going braless, but not under a translucent shirt–that’s too obvious
– Wearing mascara or false eyelashes and highlights on your cheeks but not thick foundation or overdone lipstick.

The key is to be sexually invitational rather than sexually aggressive. Too much aggression by women confuses men. Even in this modern age, they like to take the lead; it’s a comfortable role for them. So don’t try to push them out of their comfort zone. They don’t like that and it scares them. They’ll move on to another girl who plays by “the rules.”

Should you put your nipples on display? Not a good idea, because you put the man in an impossible situation. Where does he look? He wants to look at your nipples, feels drawn to them…but if he does he risks the dreaded, “Up here, look up here,” as you point to your eyes with irritation.

When nipples are on display, the man doesn’t know whether it’s OK to stare, or if he should pretend he can’t see them, or even whether to assume that you’re coming on to him. Showing your nipples too soon will almost certainly make him feel pressured, rushed, and uncomfortable.

What’s best is to show a hint of nipples, and that’s where the button-down shirts come in. Men love button-up fronts on women, because they can just imagine undoing those buttons. Sorry, it just doesn’t work the same for a pull-over shirt, although a tight pullover that shows your curves can be sexy. And if you leave a few buttons undone, the man can get a little peek, which is pleasantly teasing.

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Sure, men like to fantasize over the ideal woman, with her perfect breasts, tiny waist, and beautiful face. But men aren’t idiots–they know about reality. They know the ideal woman is just a fantasy. When it comes to everyday sexual relationships, they want a woman who’s real and approachable.

Want to know what 95% of men think when they see a woman all decked out in designer dress, perfect make up, with a perfect figure? “I’m not good enough for her.” So they don’t even try.

In fact, a wealthy businessman in California makes sure his wife always dresses in the most expensive couture clothes and wears spectacular jewelry and has her nails and hair done whenever they go out. Why? “Because, if you want to know the truth, she’s a very attractive woman. I want her to look terrific, but at the same time, I also want to make damned sure that the other men feel like she’s out of their league.”

If women understood how very undemanding most men truly are when it comes to choosing a woman, they’d junk their hair dryers and most of their make-up! And when I say “undemanding”, I don’t mean you should just let yourself go. Men DO like their women to be well-groomed and well-dressed. I mean undemanding in the sense that men really want women to be relaxed, casual, friendly, non-aggressive…and invitational.

You don’t need to do a full “earth-mother” thing, but go ahead and relax your dress standards just a little bit and be yourself…with a hint of invitation.

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