Advice on how to “Unleash your inner confidence”

A positive attitude is perhaps the single most important thing to have when it comes to getting women. If you don’t have it, you will find it very hard to evoke a positive response in the women that you meet.

The fact is, women don’t want guys who are negative, critical, or complain all the time. They don’t want men who are wary and suspicious of women’s intentions.

Rather, they are most attracted to men who are assertive, self-confident, joy-filled, caring and sensitive.

If women are going to be attracted to you, you need to be attracted to yourself. You need to be the sort of person that you yourself could respect and admire.
How do you do that?

A common misconception that people have is that self-confidence is something that you acquire. I think that confidence is something that you always have inside you, it’s just that you need to find a way to unleash it.

Once you unleash your confidence from within, you will be happier and more assertive, a man who knows what he wants and gets what he wants.

Have you ever looked at the people who are very successful in life? I’m not talking about actors or famous people, but rather those people we see around us every day who appear to have a really good life. They have a nice job, a really great partner, and a good handle on their life dreams. You look and them and think, wow, you’ve got it made.

What you need to realize is that a life like this doesn’t just happen. It comes about through hard work and confidence. People that have nice things take risks. They have to put themselves outside their comfort zones and risk failure. They know that the potential rewards outweigh the risk.

If these go-getters had no confidence, they would have stayed where they were. They would have accepted their lot and not tried for a better life. At some stage in their life, they realized that they had the capacity and ability to strive for what they wanted … even if everyone around them was telling them that they couldn’t.

So why am I telling you this?

Because if you want to be irresistibly attractive to women, you need to put yourself outside your comfort zone and take a risk. Without risk, there is no reward. But it takes confidence to takes risks. You need to be confident that you have the right to take a risk and be confident that you can handle the consequences, whether good or bad.

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WHY WE LOSE OUR CONFIDENCE
When you were a baby, chances are that you had tons of confidence. You explored your environment without fear. You stuck things in your mouth, whether they were good for you or not. You smiled at everyone.

As you got older, you discovered that some things you did resulted in unpleasant consequences. You touched something hot and got burned. You smiled at someone, and he shouted back at you. You tried to make friends with a child only to get rejected.

These unpleasant experiences rocked your natural confidence. You began to feel more timid and less at ease in your world.

Your goal as an adult is to get back to your natural state of confidence.

When you are comfortable with your surroundings and the people in them, you’ll feel good about life and your ability to navigate through it. When you know what expectations are, what you have to do to achieve your goals, and have support to back you through difficult times, you’ll feel confident. You won’t even have to work yourself into this state; it just will be.

GETTING BACK TO YOUR NATURAL STATE
To jump start this process, you need to start thinking positively about the things in your life. Where there are roadblocks, see challenges. Where there is rejection, focus your attention on where you find acceptance. Where there is dejection, reconnect with your natural exuberance by playing sports or playing with a child.

By mentally transforming the world around you from a scary place into a place where you feel at home, you will start to see your confidence shine through.

It’s a simple rule:
* Negative thoughts produce negative attitudes.
* Positive thoughts produce positive attitudes.
* The more thoughts are repeated, the stronger those attitudes become.

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When you are having a bad day, resist negative thoughts by remembering the love and caring that you experience from other people in your life.

A useful exercise is trying to see yourself through the eyes of others. Think about your friends. Why do they like you? What things attract them to you? What do you think you add to their lives? What do they add to yours?

Quite often, the things that your friends find attractive in you are the same things that the new women in your life will find attractive, too. You may have a genuine nature and a sense of honesty. You may be very loyal. You may be compassionate and loving.

Being attractive is not just about having good looks. Attractiveness is a function of the total person: how you talk, what you say, how you move your body, and the affection you show towards others. Ask yourself whether or not your friends care that much about how you look. How much do you think that they care about your appearance in comparison with your personality?

Why should a woman be any different? It’s a simple fact that getting to know someone will make them more attractive in the mind’s eye. Although a woman may be initially attracted to you because of your appearance, it is the person she gets to know who will tip her over the scales from interest into infatuation.

Take a close look at yourself and your life. What do you see? This can tell you a lot about how much confidence you have.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. What physical attributes do you have that are appealing? It may be your height, the color of your hair, your strong jawline, your flat abs, your calf muscles, anything!

2. Think about your personality. Are you smart, witty, honest, loyal, genuine, helpful, romantic, or a leader?

3. Consider your posture. How do you hold yourself? For one moment, hold your head high and pull your shoulders back. Imagine that you are a movie star, like George Clooney or someone else you admire. How would you walk?

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Body language is a powerful medium through which people can tell a lot about you. Confident people portray their confidence through the way they move and hold their body. A guy who lacks any particularly attractive features but has the walk of a confident star-on-the-rise will turn heads wherever he goes.

When you are out in public, be aware of the way you walk and the way you hold your body. Don’t scuff your feet or let your shoulders droop. Instead, hold your head high and move your body with power and grace. I can guarantee you will get more people noticing you.

Posture is just one facet of the whole pictures. Another is manners. Manners are such a lost art nowadays, and it’s refreshing to see someone being pleasant and saying hello to strangers or holding a door open for someone. Showing your good manners is guaranteed to get you a very favorable reaction, because it will make people think you’re a gentleman, and there’s nothing woman like better than a gentleman!

My own personal belief is that it’s so much easier to be pleasant than it is to be surly. It gets you more attention from women, too. I promise you that if you can transform at least some of your negative thoughts into positive ones, you will start to feel better about yourself and receive more compliments on what a great guy you are.

So listen to compliments and believe in yourself. At the risk of sounding cliche, you have to be your own biggest fan. I truly believe this. Belief in yourself will spill over to other people, and they will be attracted to this person who is so clearly content and at ease in their life.

Focus on the positives in your life. No matter how bad you may have it, someone out there has a worse life than you. So be grateful for the many good things in your life, like your friends and family and your health.

Now that you realize just how much you have going for you and have a fragile confidence in yourself, you need to recognize that self-confidence is not the same thing as being arrogant or oblivious to your own faults. Self-confidence people recognize that they have faults and work to correct them.

If there are things that you don’t like about yourself, make a list of them and take a proactive approach. Instead of blaming yourself for not being perfect, take charge of your life and work to correct anything you don’t like. Every aspect of ourselves can be improved in one way or another, if you think creatively. If you can’t think of any way to improve something, take your dilemma to a trusted counselor or mentor.

Transforming your life into the one you’ve always dreamed of may take a long time to achieve, but remember that you aren’t powerless. You do have the power to change your life for the better. And for every thing you improve, you increase your confidence and belief in yourself.

The rewards of achieving self-belief and inner confidence are immeasurable. If you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. And that belief will give you the strength to step outside your comfort zone and get the things you want.

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